i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize