im holly from the hills drunk
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
