Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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