i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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