Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
