Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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