sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
