Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
