I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
