Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
