Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
