mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
