I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
