Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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