you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize