I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
