Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
