The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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