i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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