Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
