oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
