Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
