If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize