What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
