is your mom at the bar?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
