So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
