it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
