wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
