watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
