i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
