shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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