I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
