he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
