He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
