Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
