i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
