I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You're like the curious george of whores
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
