Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Fuck appropriateness.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize