God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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