My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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