I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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