dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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