Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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