would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
