Say something about gay babies.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
