all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
