so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
