i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i would punch a child for taco bell
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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