I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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