remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
