hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
