dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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