and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
