Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
