I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
