This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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