He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Be still, my beating vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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