hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
two words: eviction party
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
