I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
