People with herpes should wear stickers.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize