recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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